50 Reasons NOT to Date a Photographer
- They rather hold their bulky camera, than hold hands with you.
- On a romantic date, you’ll watch the sun go down and think “Wow this is gorgeous” and they’ll go “mirror lock, tripod, and stop down f/8 at 1/125.”
- You’ll never be able to enjoy tv, movies, or magazines because they’ll point out all the visual flaws.
- They like to sit in obscure coffee shop and voyeuristically watch people for great lengths of time.
- If you’re taking a walk outside and you come across some “interesting light” they will make you sit/stand/pose in public so that they can take a photo.
- You’ll never get to enjoy freshly cooked meals because they’ll spend 15 minutes taking 20 variations of the same dish with their iPhone.
- They get angry when your friends go up to them and say “I am interested in photography, can you recommend a good camera for me? Nothing professional I just want to take pretty pictures.”
- You’ll wait longer for them to finish analyzing art in a museum than you’ll wait at the dmv
- Same goes with old used bookstores.
- When you think they’re giving you their undivided attention, they’re really wondering how they could fix you with a little Clone Tool and Patch Tool.
- Or they are actually using you to not look so creepy as they people watch everything going on around you.
- They rather drop $1,000+ on new glass than a purse for you.
- You can’t take a photo with them without taking at least five more.
- If you ask them if you look fat, they’ll say “don’t worry I can photoshop you later.”
- They’ll never photoshop something simple for you if the content is not up to their “standards.”
- That photo they randomly took of you yesterday? Good luck getting them to send it to you.
- They spend all their time on the computer (and not for porn.)
- They can’t have a normal conversation with throwing acronyms and random numbers.
- They still use film cameras.
- They spend a lot of time with people cooler than you i.e. models, actors, musicians,
- successful rich people.
They’ll be fussy over the position of a common household object, like a coffee cup.
- They won’t return your calls or text messages, but you can bet they’re still posting pics on Instagram.
- They like watching old films that you’ve never heard or will ever understand.
- They like looking at weird things in general.
- Instead of having penis-envy, they have camera-gear-envy.
- If there’s a natural disaster in a far away land, they’re already on a plane going over there.
- Everything is watermarked.
- They think everyone else’s photos suck.
- They want to color correct a lot of scenes from Twilight and Jersey Shore.
- They hate rainbows, especially ones spinning in a circle.
- Whenever you’re in a group talking and the conversation goes deep, they’re taking notes in some form of Moleskin.
- They use over priced Moleskin notebooks.
- They like trespassing into old abandoned buildings filled with health hazards.
- They always want to show a new photo they took, but don’t really care if you like it or not.
- They hate your n00bie friend’s new artsy profile picture.
- Bright, sunny days make them sad, but cloudy, overcast days are apparently great!
- They’ll take you into places that have “culture” as well a high chance of getting mugged.
- Your birthday present will be a portrait that they’ve taken of you.
- You can’t go anywhere new without them stopping to take a photo of everything and anything.
- They will always bug you to be a test subject.
- Nothing can ever be naturally pretty, everything must be fixed in Photoshop.
- Bringing their camera means, bringing 50lbs of equipment.
- If you break any of their things on accident, you’ll owe them thousands of dollars.
- You can’t get them a birthday/Christmas present without spending at least $500
- They are natural hoarders, collecting and keeping piles of old newspapers, packaging, magazines, and other things that “inspire” them.
- They are weird and geeky.
- They have hard drives of photos, but probably have printed 10 images.
- They are always secretly judging your creativity.
- If you’re ever in auto mode, they laugh at you.
- They orgasm every time they learn a new lighting technique. 4 days ago 1,167 notes
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